Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Poured Bleach All Over The Chicken And Pork At A Store He Used To Work At?

STEVENSVILLE, Md. – A man faces charges after police say he poured liquid bleach on packages of chicken and pork at a grocery store where he used to work. Security video shows 57 year-old John Waskey allegedly pouring bleach over the contents of a meat case at a Food Lion Supermarket in Stevensville on January 26th. Ninety-six packages of chicken and pork, totaling over $700 in losses, were ruined as a result. Managers identified the former employee who turned himself into police on Monday. Waskey faces charges of theft and contaminating food. Management immediately removed all of the packages from the sales area.

See here’s what the PETA animal loving vegetarians don’t understand. Just because you don’t eat the meat doesn’t mean you save the animal. The animal is dead regardless. So if vegetarians have a goal of making people not eat meat, then this guy pouring bleach all over the meat case and ruining $700 worth of chicken and pork is a victory for them, right?

Anyway, I love this guy. Just rocking a Hollister shirt and a weird ass neck tattoo, running Kamikaze missions into his former employer and bleaching up meat right in their faces. He’s like oh yeah, you want to fire me? Well how about a side of bleach with your chicken! AHAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

I don’t even want to think about the depths of John Waskey’s evil mind. Scary, scary stuff.

Web Entrepreneur Has $2.5 Million When He’s 21, Exactly $2.5 Million Less Than That By The Time He’s 22

(DM) A web entrepreneur who had it all by the time he was 21 managed to blow his staggering $2.5million fortune in just 12 months. Andrew Fashion dropped out of high school to live the high life – his monthly $100,000 pay packet seeing him buy a plush Los Angeles house and several top-of-the-range sports cars. He played high-stakes poker in Las Vegas, jetted away on a whim to London, Florida and Hawaii, and bought all the latest gadgets going. But within just one year his websites, which gave users the tools to ‘design’ their MySpace pages, fell out of favour and the cash dried up. Bankrupt and suffering from depression, he admitted: ‘I was young and stupid. The money was coming in so strongly, but it went out just as fast. A lot of the money just disappeared.’

First of all, when this dude got rich he changed his name to Andrew Fashion. Strike one. Second, the product he was selling gave people the ability to design their own MySpace pages. Fucking MySpace!? Umm, bro, if you’re like some sort of web prodigy, then shouldn’t you have realized that MySpace is completely irrelevant and that maybe you should have put a few bucks under your mattress? Have you heard of Facebook? That’s where we’re all at. That’s where the party is. It’s a serious rager over there. Did you not get the invite?

Fucking geeks man. They can produce unbelievably complex algorithms all day but don’t have a shred of common sense in their body.

PS – I’m such a hypocrite because I would’ve done the exact same thing if I had $2.5 million when I was 21. Every day I’d be like Charlie Kelly at the end of the Sunny episode when him and Dennis take a private jet home from Atlantic City. Just champagne and hot stewardesses all day, errry day.

3 Year Old Kid In Peru Just Having An Abortion Real Quick

(CBS News) LIMA, Peru – Doctors in Peru have found a “parasitic twin” in the stomach of a 3-year-old boy, and plan to surgically remove the tissue Monday. Dr. Carlos Astocondor of the medical team at Las Mercedes Hospital in the northern port of Chiclayo says the condition occurs in about one of every 500,000 live births. Astocondor will lead a team of 12 other physicians to remove the excess tissue from Isbac Pacunda in an operation that will take several hours. He says the partially formed fetus weighs a pound and a half and is nine inches long.

Here I was saying it should be legal to abort a three year old, and then a three year old goes and gets an abortion. Needless to say my mind is totally blown.

Serious question though: do you think when this kid gets older his abortion story will get him pussy? Cause you know how chicks are always talking about the pain of childbirth and how having a baby is much more of a burden on them than it is on the guy? Well when this kids older and flowing game to bitches at some bar in Peru, he can just be like, “I know what it feels like ladies. I respect you so much for your physical sacrifice.” And then chicks will be all up on his dick right?

I dunno though. Some girls might be turned off by the fact that his dead twin lived in his stomach and had to be removed by 13 physicians. But hey, when it comes to women you always gotta be looking for that new angle.

Does This Look Like The Face Of A Woman Who Strangled Her Husband Because He Brought Home Another Woman And Asked To Use The Bed?

(TCPALM) Marian Searchwell’s husband said his wife grew enraged after he decided to bring home a “female visitor.” ”Specifically, Searchwell began yelling at (her husband),” an Indian River County Sheriff’s deputy wrote in a recently released arrest affidavit. The husband said Searchwell — his wife of five months — grabbed his neck during the 10:10 p.m. Jan. 26 incident, leaving abrasions. The 56-year-old woman said she was in the master bedroom when her husband appeared, asking that she leave “in order for him and his female visitor to use the bed.”

There’s a problem with absence of logic in our society. People just blindly react before they stop and actually think about the situation. I mean here’s this dude bringing home a chick to play smash squad with but he can’t get down to laying pipe right away because his wife is hogging the bed. Alright, simple enough solution: get his wife out of the bed.

But no, it can’t be that easy, because fucking Marian Searchwell just throws logic out the window. Hey lady, your husband’s a grown ass man. He fucks in beds, not on couches or recliners or floors. He’s worked hard his whole life so he can come home and have sex with a woman who’s not you in the bed that you share with him. Go hit the couch for 45 minutes and watch some E! Network. Don’t go all insane and start strangling people. That’s just irrational.

Pats WR Tiquan Underwood Gets Sick Pats Haircut. Also, Who The Fuck Is Tiquan Underwood?

So apparently this dude plays on the Patriots? Sure, whatever you say TMZ. Anyway, this is a cool haircut and all, but it creates a situation that I’ve always hated. Remember when you played sports and the worst kid on the team would floss the most on game day? Like he’d have his sleeves rolled up to his shoulders, his Under Armour on, like fifty sweat bands all over his body. He’d act like the whole game was riding on his shoulders but then wouldn’t step foot on the field. And then when your team won he’d be celebrating the loudest, acting like he scored the game winning touchdown, because in his mind he did. I hated those kids. I think if I had a choice I’d rather be the kid with down syndrome who “manages” the team than the shitty player who thinks he’s amazing.

So yeah, this is a cool haircut bro. I just hope you’re alright with it being your biggest contribution to game.

Drunk Dude Stumbles Into Wrong Apartment And Tries To Throw Whiskey Dick To An 80 Year Old Broad

FAIRGROUNDS — Kitsap County prosecutors are reviewing a Sunday morning incident in East Bremerton involving a drunken 21-year-old man who walked into the wrong apartment and climbed into bed with an 80-year-old woman. Kitsap County sheriff’s deputies were called to the apartment on Vineyard Lane, east of Kitsap County Fairgrounds, about 6:30 a.m. Sunday by the woman’s 56-year-old son, who had been sleeping in another bedroom, according to reports. He was awakened by the sound of someone urinating on the floor of the apartment. As he was getting up to investigate, he heard someone go into his mother’s room, and she began to scream. The woman told deputies she was extremely frightened when the strange man climbed into bed with her. Between screams, she asked what he was doing. “Passing out,” he told her, and went to sleep.

Is this bitch serious? Newsflash lady, you’re 80 years old. Not exactly a spring chicken anymore. I mean you should be happy to get a call from a relative once a week.  Having some drunk 21 year old guy climb into your bed in the middle of the night ready to fuck the cobwebs off your Werther’s Original-scented body is a straightup godsend.

Because I can guarantee this broad is getting NO dick. She lives with her 56 year old son. Talk about a cock block. You can’t bring guys home to fuck when your loser son is crushing Spaghetti-O’s and Stargate: Atlantis episodes in the living room. Completely kills the mood.

So this 21 year old tries to be a good samaritan and slay a little geriatric snatch and what does he get for his efforts? A ride in a fucking police car. Old bitches these days. They want the attention without giving up the pussy. Doesn’t work like that gram.

PS – I legit laughed out loud at the part where the drunk dude told her he was passing out and then went to sleep. We can all relate. Like I don’t give a fuck where I am – couch, floor, porch, backyard, 80 year old sluts bed. When you’re passing out you’re passing out.

Homeless Guy Pisses On A Train Seat You Probably Sat In 5 Minutes Later

I never wash my jeans. Never. Can’t remember the last time I did. I have two pairs – I’ll wear one and leave the other crumpled on my bedroom floor, then the next day I switch it up. You know, to stay fresh. Plus I only wear jeans. No khakis, no dress pants, no corduroys. Just jeans on jeans on jeans. And this isn’t a habit unique to me. Every (straight) guy does it. Ladies, if you see a guy wearing jeans today, there’s a 110% chance that those things haven’t seen the inside of a washing machine since 2011.

Speaking of unwashed, the subway is the unwashed, STD-ridden cunt of any city. I honestly don’t understand how a hybrid death bacteria or some sort of mutant disease hasn’t formed down there yet. It’s the dirtiest pieces of disgusting garbage that the human race has to offer, crammed together dick to ass.

And you see what this dude in the video is doing? Just draining the main vain on a seat, completely not giving a fuck. Like yeah, I’m pissing right here mother fucker, come see me! That type of shit happens ALL THE TIME. I walked into the 34th St subway the other day and there was just a big human shit on the platform. Whatever. Step around it and put my headphones in.

My point is that we all get covered in piss, shit, vomit and cum when we ride the train and I’m probably wearing jeans with the urine of 1000 men on them and I really couldn’t give less of a shit.

Topless Bitches Protesting Something Or Other, Doesn’t Really Matter Because They’re Topless

DAVOS, Switzerland — Three topless Ukrainian protesters were detained Saturday while trying to break into an invitation-only gathering of international CEOs and political leaders to call attention to the needs of the world’s poor. Separately, demonstrators from the Occupy movement marched to the edge of the gathering.

I hate protesters, but I ain’t mad at these sluts. Just slutting it up with their tits out, protesting something or other but it doesn’t really matter because people can see their tits. They’re like “hey, listen to our important and impassioned message about global economic collusion and the expanding dichotomy of the classes.” And nobody gave a shit so they just popped their bras off in freezing temperatures and were like, “How about now?” And then BAM! Headline news story.

Just a prime example of chicks having to resort to basic sex appeal to get taken seriously. Sure, girls will tell you that they can compete in a man’s world, and that their ideas and opinions are good and worthwhile, and that we should treat them as equals. But then at the end of the day the only way dude’s are gonna pay attention to them is if tits and ass are involved. The stubborn ones will try and fight it. They’ll try and make it with their smarts and personality, and inevitably they’ll fail. But the smart ones know that if they want their little cause to get attention, best start getting naked real quick. That’s the only way a normal guy is going to give a fuck about your hippy bullshit.

 

Dude Arrested For Trying To Hire A Hitman To Murder His Wife’s Facebook Friend

(The Sun) Silvanus Satya Naidu mistakenly thought his wife was going to leave him after 28 years of marriage. Church and charity worker Naidu claimed in court today that he was under stress at the time. He was arrested after the hitman turned out to be an undercover policeman. He was jailed for seven years at the Supreme Court in Brisbane, Australia. The judge said: “It is a clear case of a deliberate and premeditated action which was not in accordance with your normal personality and behavior.” Earlier, 51-year-old Naidu, from Brisbane, pleaded admitting attempting to procure the murder of James Asher Kumar between October 28, 2010, and February 20 last year.

The older I get, the more I’m convinced that having a good hitman is one of the most important things in life. Like you need a good barber, a good butcher, a good dry cleaner and a good hitman. Because once you have a quality hitman, it’s all just smooth sailing from there.

Seriously, how many times a day do you wish you could just hop on your iPhone, fire off a quick text, and fifteen minutes later your Calculus professor is dead. That metrosexual dude who always flirts with your girlfriend… iced. Roommate ate your last bag of chips? Blllllaaaattttt! Fucking done son.

And I’ll tell you another thing. If I was married I’d 100% be trying to have all of my wife’s Facebook friends assassinated. Real life friends too. There’s really no better way to establish control in a relationship and keep your woman loyal than murdering all the people she knows. You gotta put an end to that shit before it gets out of hand. Sure, it may just be an innocent poke here and a like there, but over time you know that shit is going to escalate. Hiring a mercenary to carry out your plans of cold-blooded murder is really the only way to go.

PS – Love that this dude was a church and charity worker. At the soup kitchen dishing out chicken noodle and praising jesus in the afternoon, hiring hitmen and killing his chick’s friends at night. Just playing both sides of the ball with absolutely zero shame.